I just sent a special note to a couple of my good friends from highschool and college. It feels good to reach out to these folks, especially to those whose made a difference in my life.
Do you remember those incredible friendships you've made that affected your life in the most profound way?
Do you recall the relationship that taught you to open up to a whole new set of emotions you never thought you were capable of showing much less feeling?
Here is my story...
When we first met in highschool, everything about her felt very familiar - like family. As I got to know her more, I found that we shared the same birthday month (born a week apart), both our mothers shared the same birthday month (born a day apart), we both had siblings who were born in the month of December (not sure about the dates) and a host of numerous life experiences we shared made us realize that our meeting was no coincidence.
Our personalities complemented each other. I was the extroverted, opinionated "wild child" who had all these crazy ideas about make-up. She was reserved, thoughtful and a sensitive soul with a keen eye for business. She would always remind me to "look before leaping" into anything. She was like my long lost sister. We were inseperable.
Not long after I met my "sister", I met another friend. He was tall, graceful, and beautiful ...but very shy. All the girls in class (and in school for that matter) wanted to meet him and know more about him. But for some reason, we had a connection. I introduced myself and that was it. We just laughed and had a great time for the entire hour in class.
As fate would have it, he and I danced together for the school play. We were paired to dance in the school production of "West Side Story", which was my all time favorite musical. Since we had such a great time laughing and dancing, I thought to introduce him to my "sister"...come to find out...she already met him in her dance class! Our friendship was fated. From that point on, we were as thick as thieves. We would do charity work together, went to clubs to dance until dawn, and swapped cars for errands and interviews. We would take turns paying for expenses such as gas, meals and yes, cover charge (hahaha!). Sure, we had our disagreements but we figured, every relationship goes through a bit of bickering. They were resolved by making each other laugh from an impromptu dance off. Think Madonna's "Vogue" style dancing with the serious faces coupled with erratic arm movements.
We went nuts trying to out-Vogue each other! hahaha!
Family events and holidays were lively and fun! We visited each others families and ate home-made tamales made by hand (his grandmother's place), then a bit of classic Indian/Portuguese dishes (her family's place) and finally, traditional Filipino meals my mother made in her home. Our get-togethers consisted of animated chatter, drinks, food and music. It was fantastic!
What I cherished most from that time in my life was how often we lifted each other up. My friends and I supported, encouraged and celebrated each other. As a result, we became better friends to each other and better people to everyone else. We taught each other to be compassionate, graceful, sensitive, opinionated, savvy, out-going, and humorous.
Above all, we learned from each other. We served as each other's coach, cheerleader and mentor.
We graduated highschool, went to college, found jobs, got married, had families and eventually...moved away. Keeping in contact became increasingly difficult. Until finally communication comes to a slow and complete...halt.
In retrospect, I considered myself extremely fortunate to have made these connections. I realized that in order to to experience life and learn from it, your heart must be open and willing to receive it. Warts and all.
Before long the cycle begins again. You meet people, they become your friends. Some leave and some linger. But if you're lucky, you encounter friends and mentors who leave an indelible mark in your heart.Ever wonder why that happens? Allow this poem to shed some light...
“Reason, Season, Lifetime” by Aleksandra Lachut
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Love, Laugh, Live Positive
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